Polyamory on the 11:00 News on DC ABC affiliate WJLA

My husband, Tim, and I had the privilege of being interviewed about our polyamorous open marriage recently, and it was shown on Washington, D.C.'s ABC news affiliate WJLA on the 11PM news on Thursday, February 9, 2012.  Also included are local polyamorists Sarah Taub, Michael Rios, and Jonica Hunter, none of whom are married to each other and who live together in what polyamorists refer to as  "V" relationship.  Their contribution was highly valuable in that together we were all able to give a couple of different yet common examples of how people arrange their nonmonogamous romantic lives. 

A fairly brief article entitled Polyamorous Relationships: Managing Multiple Romantic Partners that is not a transcript of the video to go with it is also available, as well as a slideshow entitled The Faces of Polyamory of all of us who were in the video, including a few wedding and honeymoon pictures of Tim and me. 

The story about Newt Gingrich's supposed desire for an open marriage broke about a month ago, and since then there has been a frenzy of media interest in we polyamorists that has not yet ended.  In fact, as ironic as it is, Newt's ex, Marianne Gingrich's contention that Newt asked her for an open marriage so he could continue to have a relationship with his mistress, Calista (now his wife) is responsible for we advocates finding ourselves with an opportunity to raise awareness unlike anything we could otherwise achieve on our own.

Yes, polyamory and open marriage are in the mainstream center stage spotlight, and there are a lot of us, including those involved with the Polyamory Media Association and Loving More Nonprofit, who are scrambling to meet all the requests.  If you have an interest in being interviewed either by a newspaper or appearing on a TV show, or any other sort of media event, please visit the PMA and educate yourself about best practices so as to be ready to shine on behalf of all who practice responsible non-monogamy.  Thanks!

Polyamory Leadership Network

Over the last three years, the Polyamory Leadership Network has evolved into a very active entity, however loosely organized.  It includes people from around the world who make some kind of contribution toward raising awareness of polyamory and supporting those who live poly lives.  Basically its members make whatever contribution they wish to make without red tape approval processes.  There is no board of directors, because we poly people are an independent, ornery bunch, don'tchaknow, none of us being especially inclined to answer to authority.  :)

But seriously, check out the PLN website, and if you are someone who makes a contribution to the poly world or has a burning desire to do so, consider becoming a member.  PLN members collaborate via a very active google group.  We hold summits once or twice a year, so far mostly following Loving More's Poly Living conferences, where the picture above was taken in October 2010 following Poly Living in Seattle.  That's me in the second row, last person on the right, sitting next to the awesome Dossie Easton, she of The Ethical Slut co-authorship fame.  All I would need is Janet Hardy on my left to make my day.  Make that make my year.

Hope to see you at the next PLN summit, which is yet to be scheduled, and in the meantime, on the PLN Google group.   

Poly Living Seattle Full Program Schedule - What a Lineup!

Hope you are already making plans to join us in Seattle October 22-24 for Poly Living.  This is an especially strong program with an awesome lineup of speakers and presenters (if I do say so myself.)  Kudos to Robyn Trask for assembling what promises to be a true immersion in poly living joy. 

Keynote speaker is Ethical Slut co-author Dossie Easton, and our special guest speaker is Sex at Dawn co-author Christopher Ryan.  And that's just for starters. 

 

Check out the complete info and register now. 

Note that the hotel block is filling up fast and that the deadline for reserving your room is this coming Sunday, October 8. 

Hope I'll see you there. 

Fascinating! Poly Living Con in Seattle October 22-24

====================================================================

From Theoretical Ideas to Practical Living:

Poly Living and Relationship Choice in the 21st Century

====================================================================

In its Seattle debut, Loving More's Poly Living West Coast Conference offers:

TWO DAYS OF AMAZING RELATIONSHIP WORKSHOPS

Special Guest Speaker CHRISTOPHER RYAN, PH.D., Co-author of the sensational new book Sex at Dawn: the Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

A Keynote Speech by DOSSIE EASTON, M.A. of The Ethical Slut

A Concert by

About Special Guest Speaker Christopher Ryan, Ph.D.

Dan Savage calls Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality "the most important book on human sexuality since since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948." This new bestseller is overturning common wisdom on the anthropology of monogamy and human nature and remaking the future of the polyamory movement.

Join Christopher as he speaks about his book, the waves it is making, and how it applies to poly living today.

About Dossie Easton, M.A.

The Ethical Slut has been a cornerstone of the polyamory movement since its first edition in 1997. Join us for our opening address Friday night by Dossie Easton, longtime poly and sexual-freedom activist and a treasure of community wisdom.

There will be a presentation and book signing with Mim Chapman, Ph.D., author the book of What Does Polyamory Look Like? This lively and informative new book, by Loving More's own board member, Mim Chapman, categorizes the vast diversity of polyamorous relationships. It's a lighthearted tour through the poly world, good for educating friends, family, therapists, and professionals (and yourself) about our community.

There will also be a presentation and book signing by Curt Bergstrand, Ph.D., author of Swinging in America; Love, Sex and Marriage in the 21st Century, which is based on years of research into the swing world and other forms of nonmonogamy in American culture. This seminal book examines monogamy's functionality,failures, and whether it is healthy for our culture at large.

Opening Concert Friday Night

Bone Poets Orchestra (formerly Gaia Consort) plays psychedelic steampunk in the tradition of Jethro Tull, Pink Floyd and other hallucinogenic masters. The band is well known in the West Coast poly world for its soulful, funny, original music with many appropriately themed songs.

Opening for Bone Poets is the renowned Ben Silver. A singer and instrumentalist from New York, Ben has led poly workshops and performed at Loving More conferences since the mid-1990s. Whether in singer/songwriter mode or doing McFerrinesque vocal improvisations, Ben slides through folk, R&B, funk, jazz and back again.

Loving More wishes to thank for their support:

• Allena Gabosh, Executive Director, Seattle's Center for Sex Positive Culture
• The good people at the Sharma Center
• Cunning Minx of the Polyamory Weekly Podcast; and

HOTEL INFORMATION

REGISTER HERE

For more information, see the Poly Living Website or call

970-667-5683.

Personal Stories on Polyamory and Compersion on Radio Netherlands Worldwide

This just in.  Executive Director Robyn Trask and her partner, Managing IT Director Jesus Garcia, both of Loving More, give a great polyamory interview in this radio piece in which they are interviewed by Radio Netherlands Worldwide (in English, never fear) in partnership with WAMU public radio here in Washington, DC.  The radio show is The State We're In, and this episode is titled Flirtation, Love, Romance and Polyamory. 

Robyn and Jesus talk about their poly relationship and their relationships with other lovers, both their own and each other's.  Robyn's sweetie, guitarist and singer Ben Silver, is also interviewed about his relationships with both Robyn as his sweetie and Jesus as Robyn's primary partner.  Ben also sings some of his lovely polyamory- focused music.  Though she doesn't use the word, Robyn speaks at length about how compersion works for her in her relationships.  (For more info on compersion, see also the handout from my compersion workshop.)

You will listen through or skip over a brief news interlude, and the poly segment is first up and concludes at 22 minutes in.  Be sure to listen to that point - Ben's lovely vocals and harmonies on the song "More Love" are not to be missed! 

The group picture I've used above was taken at last fall's Loving More Retreat, and a happier bunch of people you'll never see.  We were all feeling our bliss by the time pictures were taken on Sunday.  Please consider joining us for this year's retreat September 10-12 on 175 acres in the beautiful, rural, clothing-optional setting of Easton Mountain Retreat in upstate New York.  The beds are comfortable, the food organic and fresh out of the garden, the company fabulous and the opportunities for learning, growing and connecting truly awesome.  Hope to see you there!

Poly Living and Loving More Coming to Seattle this Fall!

Loving More is thrilled to announce that for the first time it will be holding a major polyamory relationship conference in Seattle and is excited to bring this wonderful conference to an equally wonderful part of the country.  The Poly Living Conference, being held October 22-24, 2010,  features a range of informative workshops from basic to advanced and intellectual to experiential, covering topics both fun and serious.  Poly Living, orginally founded by the late George Marvil, is a place to learn relationship skills that support healthy polyamorous realationships.

• Friday night Keynote,Concert and Reception

• Saturday to Sunday- 18 Amazing workshops by nationally known polyamory facilitators and presenters

• Saturday Luncheon

Click here for pricing and details

Featuring in Concert Friday Night - Bone Poets Orchestra

Bone Poets Orchestra (formally known as Gaia Consort) will be performing in concert Friday following the keynote address.  Bone Poets Orchestra describes itself as psychedelic Steampunk in the tradition of Jethro Tull, Pink Floyd and other hallucinogenic masters.  Listen to Bone Poets Music here.

Hope to see you there!

Deborah Anapol and Polyamory Get Their Own Blog on PsychologyToday.com

Dr. Deborah Anapol, co-founder with Ryam Nearing in the early 1990s of  Loving More and author of Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits (now out of print) has just announced the following:

"...in case you’re still wondering whether polyamory has gone mainstream, I’ve just been asked to blog about polyamory for Psychology Today. My new blog, Love Without Limits: Reports from the Relationship Frontier will be up soon. Please visit me there, offer your own views in the 'comments' section, and share this link with your friends."

No wondering on my part, other poly leaders and I have been discussing and writing about the mainstreaming of polyamory for more than three years now.  It's gratifying to see that the polyamory movement has now reached a place where mainstream psychology is taking note and recognizes that this trend is important and substantial enough to warrant regular, high visibility commentary. 

Anapol must have a good publicist to land such a plum writing opportunity.  Her re-entry into the world of polyamory is also being fueled by publication next month of her new book, Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners, about which I've heard good things and will post a review here once I've purchased and read it.  She asked me to write a piece for it on recent polyamory leadership initiatives, which I did.  It will be interesting to hear what she has to say about the current state of the practice of polyamory, especially since she dropped out of polyamory circles and remained pretty much silent on the subject for the last several years, seemingly focusing on other things. Younger poly leaders, used to the fast pace of the flow of information via the internet and social networking sites, seem to barely know who she is, if at all.  Still, for ten years or so Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits and The Ethical Slut (1st ed) by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt/Janet Hardy, were the only books available by which to navigate the waters of polyamory.  For their existence I will always be grateful, especially Anapol's section on jealousy.  We'll see whether this new book has the chops to rate up there with Tristan Taormino's Opening Up and the vastly expanded and improved 2nd edition of The Ethical Slut as a staple reference resource on polyamorists' book shelves.  If you are one of those polyamorists who knows little or nothing about Anapol and would like to know more, visit her website.

Polyamory Leaders Meet for Third Summit Meeting

At long last I've written up a report on the Polyamory Leadership Network's summit held in February.  The Network (hereafter referred to as “PLN”) held its third summit February 21-22, 2010 in the Philadelphia area. Thirty-five leaders from across the U.S. attended, and the summit was facilitated by workshop facilitator and sex educator Reid Mihalko.

PLN is a loosely-formed group of community leaders formed in October, 2008 at the 2008 Poly Pride Celebration in New York City. Its purpose is to educate the general public about polyamory as a legal, natural, ethical, practical, and joyous way of life; to provide education and support for members of the polyamory community and others interested in or touched by this relationship choice; and to foster a public climate in which all forms of consensual adult relationship choices are respected and honored. This is achieved through publications, media outreach, creative and scholarly projects, support for local/regional allies, and by providing opportunities and venues for collaboration and information-sharing.

After general introductions, Sarah Taub and I presented a recap of the prior summit held a year earlier. Projects that originated at the 2009 summit were reviewed and include providing more volunteer support and funding for the Loving More Non-Profit; a national coming out project; outreach projects to legal professionals, poly/mono partners, Principle Voices (a pro-religious polygamy organization), therapists, and polyamorists under 35; the formation of the Polyamory Media Association to better manage and leverage opportunities arising from media coverage of polyamory; a poly history timeline; and, of course, research collaboration with CARAS, on which Sarah Taub reported on the CARAS Polyamory Community Study currently in development.

Then we discussed and determined what skills and resources we offer each other. Each person spoke to what they are passionate about, love doing, and are great at, which was recorded and distributed for finding project collaborators that share our passion for a specific project. We all agreed to commit only to what we know how to do, are good at, and love doing.

Next we were asked to report what projects we are doing as individuals, and/or are fired up about doing. These included creating more events to build connections and communities; improving poly community diversity; helping with the CARAS poly community survey; developing and presenting more relationship skills workshops; creating a website that teaches good relationship skills; organizing a poly convention; creating poly leadership resources; organizing events for disseminating information on STIs; researching and writing scholarly articles; expanding offerings of presentations to relevant professional audiences; creating a virtual intentional poly community; co-producing a sex and relationships expo marketed to the general public; creating a "Faces of Polyamory" video; and presenting on polyamory to LGBT youth and at LGBT conferences.

The focus of the wrap-up part of the summit was the next PLN summit, and it was determined that the next PLN summit will be held October 24-25, 2010 in the Seattle area hotel where Loving More’s Poly Living west coast conference will take place the same weekend.

As the meeting closed, everyone reported feeling inspired, excited and having renewed energy for their work on behalf of polyamory and the polyamory community.

Loving More is Officially a 501(c)3 Charitable Organization

Loving More Executive Director Robyn Trask writes:

I am overjoyed to announce that Loving More's pending 501(c)3 non-profit status has been approved and the status is retroactive to May 2006. This means we are officially a tax deductible charitable organization dating back to May 2006. The non-profit status allows us to apply for both public and private grants, receive tax deductible donations and exempts us from most sales tax requirements. Loving More now has to apply for Colorado State Tax Exemption which will simply be submitting the 501(c)3.

Tax deductible donations can only be taken for the year in which the donations were made. For those who may have contributed over $1,000 and who itemize your tax return, it may be worth filing an amended return for previous years donations. Contact your accountant or the IRS directly to find out what your options are.

In addition to this great news, Loving More has moved into its new office. The office is a shared space with room to teach classes and workshops. The space serves as both an office and a center for workshops on polyamorous relationships. We will hold our first discussion group in the new class space for the Colorado poly community on Tuesday, March 30, at 7:00pm. We will also have a Grand Opening on April 10 at 1:30pm.

This is a really big step forward for Loving More and for the poly community. Now more than ever we need your help in meeting our financial goal of raising $30,000 in donations. We have raised thus far this year $8,075 but we have a long way to go.

We are also seeking help from people who have experience in applying for grants. Please contact us at 970-667-5683 if you have knowledge of grant writing or finding suitable grants.
Help Us Out by Donating!

BIG NEWS! New Issue of Loving More Magazine Online and FREE

Loving More® Magazine's first online issue, The Road Less Traveled, has been published to the Loving More website, and viewing it is free! Soon by signing up for free on the website, you will be able to view each new issue, the articles and other resources. This will include live links and video of a diverse group of people telling their poly stories, plus a video message from Loving More Executive Director Robyn Trask. My book review in this issue makes it worth your while all by itself! (Grin)

For almost 20 years Loving More has been the only magazine dedicated exclusively to polyamory. Over the years the magazine has covered all different styles of polyamorous relating for both those new to polyamory and those who are poly veterans, where you will find information on poly families, parenting, sexuality, dealing with jealousy, finding compersion and much more.

Paid supporting Loving More members (including subscribers with a current membership) will soon receive an e-mail with a PDF, printable version of The Road Less Traveled plus instructions for downloading it and the free player that enables them to view it digitally. Paid supporting members will also receive an annual printed compilation issue of the magazine to keep their print collection current.

Other great things are happening at Loving More, including a new blog, its National Polyamory Retreat September 11-13, 2009, and the Poly Living hotel-based conference in Philadelphia February 19-21, 2010. Coming soon is the (paid members only) Loving More Community Connections web-based chat and 3D virtual environment. So keep an eye on Loving More, where big changes are afoot that will make Loving More paid membership a terrific value.

Loving More Non-profit
970-667-5683

Family Web Series Creator On Seattle Local News, Oprah Interested

I've posted here before on Terisa Greenan's wonderful web series called "Family", about a Seattle male female male triad's trials and joys. There are now 15 Family webisodes on Youtube, and Terisa and company continue to crank them out as the number of hits on Youtube continue to soar - 81,000+ so far.

Today KOMO in Seattle has published a news article and video about it that is basically fair and sensible. You can read the article, which seems to be pretty much the video piece word for word.

Well-known author and matchmaker, Dr. Pepper Schwartz is a Professor of Sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and has in the past acknowledged that the human tendency to desire more than one partner is natural. So, I'm disappointed at the tone of her comments on the video. Of course, who knows what else she said that didn't make it into the story. What she says is true in some cases, but far from all, and the main reason what she says IS true is that people still need to gain the skills to make it work.

The editing made Terisa sound a little flaky in one instance, though I know that not to be the case. Who can blame her if perhaps she was coming from that giddy place poly people find when they have such an abundance of love in their lives? It's pretty heady stuff and an experience her nasty commenting critics will perhaps never have. How unfortunate that many people can't (or won't) look outside the monogamy box, even if for only a moment, when evaluating a story like this one.

T and I had dinner with Terisa, Scott and Larry last month, along with her third and his wife and child. She and I had spoken by phone but never met, and I found her and the rest of the family to be delightful. Terisa is a warm, sincere, smart woman - and, of course, talented!

The family on which "Family" is based did a great job and deserves our thanks for being willing to expose themselves to public opinion as they have. Many of the comments at the end of the article are pretty vicious, much as they were for Jenny Block when she first came to the attention of the public over a year ago when her book Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage was published. The very idea that either Terisa or Jenny are simply greedy sluts as alleged by commenters in both cases is laughable, yet people insist on making sweeping assumptions about their motives. It seems to come from a place of defensiveness, one into which I wish we had more scientific insight. This is not new, but it continues to amaze me how easily this kind of thing pushes people's buttons, and not in a good way. It just goes to show how far we still have to go to gain tolerance and awareness for polyamorous people and families.

I am delighted to hear that Oprah found Terisa. Her producers have been promising for some time now to devote one of her shows exclusively to the topic of polyamory. Robyn Trask of Loving More has in the past fielded requests for poly participants in other Oprah episodes where what was being discussed really wasn't polyamory. She educated the producers so that they now understand what polyamory is, and I'm glad to see that their interest is still strong.

Loving More Sanford Press Release

Loving More Non-Profit
970-667-5683
June 25, 2009

LOVING MORE® non-profit is all too familiar with Governor Mark Sanford’s challenging situation. We are an organization that helps and supports people in finding ethical, mutually agreed-upon ways for loving more than one person in honest multi-partnered relationships. We help partners consciously negotiate their relationship styles and agreements, whether monogamy or polyamory, with ethics and integrity.

Loving More Executive Director Robyn Trask issued the following statement.

"My heart goes out to Mr. Sanford, his wife and kids, and to his lover in Argentina. In my job I am contacted by people from all walks of life going through similar challenges of loving more than one. It is painful and heart-wrenching for all involved. We live in a culture that is in denial of the fact that many people are capable of, and do find themselves, loving more than one person, and we laden them with guilt for loving. People are calling Gov. Sanford's case a "sex scandal," but if you listen to Mr. Sanford and read his words, it is obvious this not about sex but about love and connection; it would be better described as a love scandal. Is he a hypocrite? Yes, but he is also human. The real scandal is denying the impossibility for some of monogamy. What would happen if in our culture, ethical, agreed-upon polyamory were as acceptable as monogamy??

Politics aside, this is a man in crisis because we as a society have decided there is only one right way to have a loving relationship. We ignore the statistics and heart ache that say otherwise and even the Bible. Many of our greatest leaders have followed this trend in the past from John F Kennedy to Franklin D. Roosevelt. Isn’t it good for people, especially our leaders, to be loving people and have a big heart? Isn’t this why many go into politics, and isn’t it natural that many of these people can truly love more than one person?”

One of our members, Michael Rios, said it well in a comment he made about the story in the Washington Post.

“I'm no fan of Sanford, nor the hypocrites of either party, but the real story here is that monogamy is *not* the right choice for a lot of people. Even with such strong convictions and so much to lose, these "family values" types keep stepping out of line. They aren't *that* weak-- a weak person couldn't have gotten to where they are.

It would be a lot better for the children, and for the spouses, if non-monogamous types (which by any measure seem to be a majority), whether politicians or not, could acknowledge who and what they really are. Sanford fell in love with one woman while married to another. In Biblical times, this would not be a problem -- polygamy was practiced by many of the foremost Biblical figures.

A sexist institution of that sort would not be acceptable to most folks today, of course. But there are millions of Americans of both genders who have found a way to be honest and responsible while loving more than one romantic partner. The practice of this is called "polyamory". When many people first encounter this idea, they realize that their style of loving is not immoral, disturbed, or inferior. Many of these people have been living this way for decades, having long-term stable relationships, raising children, and being responsible members of society. Of course, most of them have to keep this hidden, for fear of being attacked or having their children taken away.

I keep waiting for some politician to have the guts to say (as a number of European politicians have done), “Yes, I love both of them, and intend to keep both of them in my life.” ”

Loving More is aware of one politician who did just that, Colorado Governor Roy Romer in 1998. When questioned about his relationship with former aide B. J. Thornberry, he admitted to a 16 year relationship. Denying that it was an affair, Governor Romer explained that he had a close and complex relationship with Thornberry, and he further clarified that his family and wife were aware of the relationship all along and that it would continue. Romer defined to the press that marital fidelity was about “openness” and “trust”. Although there was some shock at his statements, it is interesting to note that when he acknowledged the relationship openly the press quickly lost interest.

With these latest developments involving a high level politician who has a long standing rhetoric of “traditional family values”, Loving More is even further committed to educating people from all walks of life about open, honest loving alternatives to monogamy. There is no one-size-fits-all model of relationship.

Our Director Robyn Trask asks, ““When will we all wake up to these realities, or are we as a nation too addicted to scandal and drama to allow people to be real and human, and to talk about the need for wider loving arrangements that can -- if there is understanding and free agreement all around -- work?”

About Loving More®

Loving More Non-Profit Corporation
PO Box 1658
Loveland, CO 80539
303-543-7540
www.lovemore.com

Board of Directors/Staff
Robyn Trask, Managing Director and Editor
Jesus V Garcia, IT Director/Board Member
Anita Wagner, Board of Directors Member

Poly/Mono Relating at Poly Living Feb. 27 through March 1 Philadelphia

Note to my readers: I will be presenting a new program at this year's Poly Living. We continue to see a steady influx of poly/mono couples who are trying to make their relationships work - I hope this will provide them some assistance.

Making Lemonade: The Poly/Mono Journey

Probably the greatest challenge in finding what works to resolve conflict in polyamorous relationships is working out the challenge that arises when one partner is polyamorous and the other is monogamous. How do people manage? Is it even possible to find mutual happiness under such circumstances?

The good news is that yes, it is. This workshop will explore the ways in which poly/mono relationships wither for some and thrive for others. It is based on the responses to a recent call for survey responses from both poly and mono partners in ongoing contemporary poly/mono relationshiips. Come hear their stories - you will find great benefit in hearing their insights and lessons learned.

Every effort will be made to present this workshop and conduct the discussion sensitively to the experiences of the monogamous partners as well as the polyamorous partners. A useful handout and time for discussion will be included.

So please stop by for this program and discussion - it promises to include lively discussion and debate. (Respectfully done, of course.)

Here are the Poly Living details:

Save Money, Use Coupon Code: PL2009G by Feb. 20th 2009
Save 10% per person when three or more sign up together.

YES Poly Living is Back for yet another fantastic year and it will be here before you know it!!!

This February join polyamorists from all over the country for the fourth Poly Living conference in honor of Poly Living's Creator George Marvil*. Over a hundred open, intelligent and fun loving people will descend on the Fort Washington Hotel outside Philadelphia for three days. Our fun filled weekend will feature nationally and regionally known presenters, including a keynote presentation from Cunning Minx of Polyamory Weekly

Poly Living's workshops range from basic to advanced and from intellectual to experiential, covering topics both fun and serious like:

Creating Intimacy
Polyamory 101 & 201
Being single & poly
Rebuilding broken trust
Secondary's survival skills
Legal issues for Polys
Exploring other Relationship
Creative Flirting and more

Conference Info

Loving More Presents "Poly Living 2009"
February 27th - March 1st 2009, Philadelphia Metro Area, PA
Fort Washington Hotel Conference

Registration and more information available at here.

Saturday Evening Events

Join us for the Cuddle Party® AND an Literary Erotic Salon.

About Us:

Loving More® is a non-profit organization and magazine dedicated to information, education and support of polyamory and polyamorous relationships. We are working currently to get our 501c(3) status which is an IRS designation that will make donations tax deductible. We are a national organization and resource for people who wish to live outside traditional monogamy responsibly and with integrity. We call it polyamory or Loving More. Our goal is to support relationships based on love, commitment, growth, respect for diversity, honesty, and personal responsibility, to help distribute books relevant to polyamory, to host conferences and workshops, and to act as a national clearinghouse and public forum for the polyamorous movement.

Loving More® Magazine — since 1991 we have been the only magazine dedicated exclusively to topics involving Polyamory-multi-partner relating. We have issues both past and present that cover all different styles and logistics of polyamorous relating for the person new to or exploring polyamory for the first time to long term polyamorous person. There is information on families, parenting, sexuality, dealing with jealousy, finding compersion and much more.

The Washington Post Article "Pairs with Spares" says...

"When you watch people interact at Poly Living, it can seem that we humans have no idea what makes people happy inside relationships, or what arrangements people need to navigate the world."

Attendees have said:

" It was amazing, I fell in love with a new partner."

"I was very happy with the wonderful workshops."

"I liked that there was a lot more focus on RELATIONSHIPS and relating and less focus on sex..."

" Your conference changed my life!"

“It was a stupendous gathering and I got more then I expected”

Contact us to sign up for our workshops, retreats, magazine, information or to donate: Lovingmore@lovemore.com

Loving More Non-Profit Organization.
PO BOX 4358
Boulder, CO 80306

© 2009 Loving More Non-Profit Organization. All Rights Reserved.

Poly Pride Celebration in NYC

Polyamorous NYC's polyamory pride weekend happened this past weekend, and I'm still flying high on the incredible energy that typified every single experience I had there. I have to say right up front what a fantastic job Polyamorous NYC did in organizing and producing this event. Producer Lyndell Moore (in picture to the right, second from the left) deserves big props, as does Poly NYC president Birgitte Philippides (far left), under whose capable and dedicated leadership this event spread its wings and soared, along with the support of founder Justen Michael Bennett-Maccubbin (3rd from the left) and all of the committee members who together created a weekend I'll always remember.

The event spawned press coverage both in the New York Times and the New York Post , plus interest from others like a free-lance film maker who gathered footage to support a poly documentary pitch to HBO and who interviewed many speakers and attendees at the Saturday afternoon rally and picnic.

Polyamory Weekly podcaster Cunningminx was also there, and it was a great pleasure to both meet her (finally!) and once again be interviewed for the podcast. (See picture of Minx and me above.) You can hear Minx's podcast coverage part one of two of the event and my interview (28 minutes in) here. And of course, Alan M. of Polyamory in the News was also there documenting the day's events.

I also had the honor of introducing to one another two of this year's new poly book authors, Tristan Taormino and Jenny Block, with me at left. Also it was the first time Jenny and I have met, though we've been on-line friends and collaborators for many months now.

Here's a picture of me (taken by Minx - thanks, Minx!) on the podium where I spoke about The Mainstreaming of Polyamory.

Entertainment at the rally was outstanding. I especially enjoyed America's Got Talent competitors the Glamazons - four sassy big women pictured here who are the stuff of many a wet dream - and the Raven Schecter trio who were both polished and hilarious. Here's a piece of their performance also recorded by Minx.


You can find a complete list of the speakers and performers here, and, not surprisingly, Tristan Taormino's keynote address was both entertaining and inspiring. I especially appreciated her call for the Same-Sex Marriage Movement to stop "throwing polyamory under the bus." What she is referring to is the ill-advised distancing from polyamory the SSM leadership does - primarily its leader, Evan Wolfson - in order to avoid any confirmation that Stanley Kurtz's slippery slope actually exists - which it does as multi-partner marriage is concerned. Politically expedient or not, that practice is unethical and discriminatory.

OK, down off my soap box and on with Poly Pride events review.

And that, so far, is just what I had to tell you regarding the picnic and rally, which was the feature event of the weekend. In addition to that, there was a Friday night cuddle party, the largest held anywhere ever, with over 110 people in attendance.

On Saturday night there was an awesome after party held in a classy loft space overlooking the Hudson River. There was a great DJ and a steady stream of performers from the vamping drag performers the Pixie Harlots to talented burlesque performer Nasty Canasta

And as if all that weren't enough, Sunday morning brought us a fabulous poly book authors reading and signing event where nine authors read from their works. It was held at the Blue Stockings radical book store in the east Village, and the room was packed - clearly the late partiers didn't let anything stop them from soaking up all that poly wisdom.

Lastly, 34 poly leaders, activists and community organizers gathered for a well-facilitated summit on polyamory activism during which there was a great exchange of ideas that sparked synergy that I look forward to sharing and building on in the days, weeks and months ahead. The next poly leadership summit will be held on Monday, March 2, 2009, following the Poly Living conference to be held the previous weekend, February 27 to March 1 in the Philadelphia suburbs. Poly Living is put on by the Loving More organization, which was well represented at poly pride weekend by Loving More Managing Director Robyn Trask and her partner Jesus Garcia. (Pictured here with Tristan Taormino and myself.) One of the biggest benefits to the polyamory community of this poly pride weekend is that many of the priorities recognized at the leadership summit are also priorities Loving More has already been pursuing. There was so much enthusiasm from those gathered for helping Loving More to move those projects along that Loving More will benefit and so will the polyamory community.

Whew! Once again, I can't thank Poly-NYC enough for all their hard work in putting on this historic polyamory pride event. Years from now it will be seen as a time when polyamory in all its colors and shapes and sizes took a big step forward toward becoming the legitimate, vibrant and gratifying choice in intimate relationship structure that it truly is.

Loving More East Coast Conference - Fabulous!

I had a really great time attending and participating in the Loving More East Coast Conference. We were once again at the lovely Easton Mountain Retreat, where the meals included a lovely bounty of fresh, homegrown vegetables and the chocolate chip cookies were to die for. Above are the smiling faces of some of the participants.

The weather was hot on Friday, rainy on Saturday - we were all in workshops anyway - and crisp and clear on Sunday. As always, the energy at this retreat was lively and loving. We had a good number of people in attendance who are new to polyamory, and all we veterans did our best to make them feel comfortable and make sure they know they were amongst friends. I always love meeting new people and helping them in whatever way I may.


Above are some of the presenters - that's me in the front row between Eric Francis, the fellow with the drum, and our keynote speaker, the dynamic Diana Adams, Esq., NYC polyamory activist and Poly Pride 2008 co-organizer. (Watch this site for more on the upcoming Poly Pride celebration October 3-5 in NYC!) I presented my signature "Making Peace with Jealousy" program and co-facilitated a general polyamory relationship issues discussion with Robyn Trask. We got into some heavily emotional stuff, but I think it was good work and helped several people there get a handle on relationship challenges with which they were grappling, which was the point of that workshop.


Above are the Loving More staff who worked so hard to make this conference such a pleasure for the rest of us. From left to right, they are the lovely Elise, book vendor extraordinaire, shuttle driver and everyone's helper, Mark, the sweet and sassy Amira, who is Loving More's office manager; Loving More Managing Director Robyn Trask; and Robyn's partner Jesus Garcia, who has a wonderful amount of energy for filling in whatever gaps exist so all comes off seamlessly. Kudos to these amazing people for creating an event that surely everyone present came away from feeling energized and even more connected to the larger polyamory community.

Loving More West in the Redwoods

I returned a few days ago from the Loving More West Coast Conference at Brooktrails Lodge in Willits, California. Above are some of the shining faces of the folks I spent time with. I had a really great time. I'd never been to that part of California before, and the redwoods are truly magnificent.

This was my first time attending the west coast conference, though I've attended and presented at the Loving More East Coast Conference many times. It was a great opportunity to meet new people and to say hello to several I hadn't seen in some years. And Brooktrails Lodge was a beautiful setting, quite comfortable with hotel-like sleeping rooms and two hot tubs.

Of course, it was great seeing Robyn and Chuy again and meeting Loving More's office manager, Amira, for the first time. These three people are the glue that keeps Loving More running, and they contribute a tremendous amount of time and effort to making the world a better place for polyamorists. Be sure to let them know how much you appreciate their efforts by writing to lovingmore@lovemore.com .

I especially loved seeing Gypsy Jack and meeting his partner, Dee, shown here to the right. Jack played guitar for us at the conference, and he played at the first gathering of poly people I ever attended, at a private home in the Bronx - best I can figure it was about 1997, and I hadn't seen him since until now. It was lovely meeting Dee finally.







It was also great to see Bob McGarey (pictured here at left) and to meet his partner, Pam. Bob is a fabulous poly therapist and the roving poly therapist for the weekend. He really knows his stuff, and I highly recommend him to whomever is looking for such a resource. I hear he gives good phone.

I very much enjoyed the company of my traveling companion from San Francisco, fire spinner John, shown here at right, who is a heckuva nice guy and has actually made a living giving fire shows. Alas, due to forest fires in the region open flames were not permitted and we were unable to see his full show, but hopefully that opportunity will come along again some day.

Presentations at this event were every one top notch. Robyn, Amira, Bob, and several others shared their expertise and made it a weekend well worth the investment of time, money, and even gas. I really enjoyed the presentation put on by veteran poly presenters Dawn Davidson and Akien MacIain (left) - they really know their stuff.

Lastly, the Sensual Festival on Saturday night was a lot of fun. There were stations set up for everything from body painting to blindfolded enjoyment of the aroma of various sensual oils, to blindfolded yummy food tastings to blindfolded sensation play - and of course, we can't leave out the sensual massages, or Gypsy Jack's serenading us on the guitar. I really hope we'll be doing that again at Loving More East Coast Conference Retreat at Easton Mountain Retreat outside Albany, NY (Saratoga Spring, NY) September 5-7, 2008. A lot of people have already registered, and it promises to be another dynamite Loving More Retreat. Hope you will be joining us!

Loving More West Coast Retreat - The Good, The Great, and the Wonderful!

Today I'm preparing to go to northern California for my first ever Loving More West Coast Retreat. I've attended and presented programs at the East Coast Retreat many times, but this is my first Loving More California Conference.

The following is from Loving More Executive Director Robyn Trask. If you live in the region and can still make it to the retreat, there is some excellent news below - read on. Hope I'll see you there.


The Good, the Great, and the Wonderful…..

Concerns have been expressed regarding fires in Northern, CA and Mendocino County. We have been keeping an eye on the situation. Most fires are well to the North of Willits and the Loving More Conference location. The fires in Mendocino have been either put out, completely, contained or partially contained (the word is the county has the fires 95% contained as of Friday July 18). The temperatures have cooled and
the smoke has cleared from the pacific winds and fog so at this point Willits is not being affected by fires nor is it expected to be.

The Good - As we said the fires are mostly contained and not a threat to Willits or the conference location.

The Great – We still have room for those whose concerns had you undecided about coming to Loving More West.

The Wonderful – We are reducing the price for a limited time to the regular registration price of just $335 a savings of $40 off the usual late registration price of $375. This price includes wonderful meals, comfortable lodging and an awesome line up of presentations specifically geared to polyamorous relationships. This offer is available for registering online or at the door. If you plan to pay at the door, you must contact us directly for important conference guidelines, information and so we have a room for you.

Come and join us July 25-27 at Brooktrails Lodge for a magical retreat in the Redwoods. Relax, learn and connect with others of like mind. Don't forget to bring your ideas and creativity for Saturday night's poly-sensual festival where attendees have the chance to co-create a fun filled evening of fun and connection. (This is not a sex party but a fun space to socialize, play with body paint, sensual touch, dance and have fun.)

For complete retreat information and to register go to the Loving More Website or call Robyn at 303-543-7540.

Further discounts available when two or more register together, please call for details.

Monica Hesse Gets Kudos from Washingtonian Magazine

On February 13, 2008, the Washington Post published a feature length article in its Style Section by Monica Hesse called Pairs with Spares which I posted about here.

Today we learn that glossy, stylish Washington Magazine has published in it's June edition an article on Monica and her considerable talents, in which it speculates as to whether she might be the journalist to save the Style Section from shrinking articles and staff.

What is remarkable about this is that Monica is at present an intern at the Post and is only 26 years old. She is clearly a superstar journalist and social commentator in the making. The polyamory community was very fortunate that she took such an interest in polyamory, in profiling the Loving More Poly Living Conference, and that she managed to convince her editor that it was worthwhile for her to spend a weekend covering it.

I was already a big fan of Monicas, and I'm very happy for her and for this prestigious recognition.

Loving More Magazine Issue 38 is Hot off the Presses

This week I received my copy of Loving More's new issue #38, which I'm very excited about. My friend, Alan, over at Polyamory in the News, has written a wonderful review of it, and rather than reinvent the wheel myself with a review that would be no better, I enthusiastically refer you to him.

Alan does an amazing job posting and categorizing all kinds of polyamory media events on his blog. He's a wonderful asset to the polyamory community and to LovingMore, where he is an advisor. So while you are there, have a look around.

2008 Loving More Retreats

Spring is on the way, and with the return of warmer weather our thoughts turn to planning our travel and making sure we don't miss out on the outdoor events we've come to cherish. Don't forget to include the Loving More East and West Coast Retreats in your planning.

Remember to register early and save. Your doing so also helps Loving More plan and budget for the best ultimate experience for all.

Some big changes are in the works regarding the programming, particularly around more intensives where presenters work together to develop interactive programs that explore topics of interest to polyamorists more deeply. Stay tuned for more on that.

I will definitely be present at the East Coast Retreat September 5-7 north of Albany, NY at the wonderful Easton Mountain Retreat. I hope to also make it out to California for the West Coast Retreat at Brooktrails Lodge in Willits, California July 25-27.

It's a fine time to be a polyamorist! You can download the Loving More retreats flyer here. If you'd like to print it up and distribute it wherever poly people gather, please do so with our thanks.