Hate Speech and TVUUC on Bill Moyers Journal

Although some may not consider hate speech as precisely related to polyamory, I believe that it is from the many, many hateful comments routinely made about polyamory where articles on polyamory are published in mainstream online fora. For example, Jenny Block, author of Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, has been called a slut, unfit mother and much worse for opening her marriage and telling her story, even in comments on the very liberal Huffington Post (read Jenny's thoughts about this here) and women's love and sex focused Tangomag.com. Her article on Tango has consistently ranked as one of the top three most e-mailed articles on that website, with it being the number one most e-mailed for most of that time. There are 230 comments on it on that site and still counting. Fortunately some are supportive, but there are plenty who gleefully hide behind their on-line anonymity and indulge in hate speech they'd never have the nerve to use and never get away with if they were speaking to Jenny face-to-face.

And I can't tell you how many times I've seen similar hate speech used in response to articles published on polyamory in places like the Washington Post, Baltimore Sun, Chicago Sun-Times, etc. These mainstream newspapers are routinely excoriated for focusing on the topic. When the Washington Post published an indepth article on polyamory in February of this year, commenters hotly criticized the Post specifically for the length and visibility of the article. What ticked them off the most was that a large portion of it was positioned on the page opposite the comics section, thus resulting in accusations of "exposing children to unwholesome, anti-family content." Oh puleeze! Give it a break already. (And while you're at it, I recommend reading Judith Levine's excellent book Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex.)

Anyway! I consider all forms of hate speech to be an irresponsponsible abuse of the right to free speech. In further connecting the dots on this subject, you may recall that I posted here several weeks ago about the horrendous, hate speech motivated shooting at Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church in my home town of Knoxville, Tennessee.

Tonight the PBS program Bill Moyers Journal examines "Shock Jock" media and it's role in the TVUUC shooting. I cannot say how much I applaud Moyers' and PBS's courage in taking on this topic and such right-wing media personalities as Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and (holding my nose) Ann Coulter.

The PBS website blurb on the program is as follows:

What happens when America's airwaves fill with hate? BILL MOYERS JOURNAL takes a tough look at the hostile industry of "Shock Jock" media with a hard-hitting examination of its effects on our nation's political discourse. The JOURNAL traveled to Knoxville, where a recent shooting at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church has left the pastor asking what role hateful speech from popular right-wing media personalities may have played in the tragedy. "A lot of people are hurling insults from the safety of television studios, the safety of radio studio, the safety of cyberspace," says Rev. Chris Buice, "So that's a void in our community — the chance to be in the same room and to have these exchanges and remember the humanity of the person on the other side.

Chris Buice and Bill Moyers are my heroes! You can check your local listings for the time this airs here. I'd love to have your comments, so please stop by after you see this important program and tell me what you think

Post show update: You can see the video of it here.

The Jim David Adkissons of the World are Listening

I grew up in east Tennessee near Knoxville. Though I was raised a Southern Baptist, I was never drawn to that affiliation as an adult. When I was introduced to polyamory and got to know more and more polyamorists, I encountered many UU polys with whom I felt a real affinity - our values were very similar, so when Tim and I got together and he was looking for a new UU church, he and I happily signed the membership book together at Paint Branch UU, where today we are very active members.

When my mother was dying a couple of years ago, Tim and I visited the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church. It was an oasis of tolerance, welcome and kindness during a very difficult time, and I was very grateful that there was a UU church in the area where we could spend a couple of hours in comfort with such an open and accepting group of people.

Imagine our shock and sorrow to hear the news from Knoxville that Jim David Adkisson, a man who says he hates liberals and gays, brought a shotgun in a guitar case into TVUUC on Sunday and killed an usher, Greg McKendry and a woman, Linda Kraeger and wounded seven others, five of whom remain in serious condition, before he was wrestled to the ground by members of the congregation. Had these heroes not acted quickly, many more would have died. Adkisson had almost 80 shotgun shells in the fanny pack he wore, and the letter he left in his truck parked outside said he intended to keep shooting until the police arrived and killed him. He is a troubled, out of work man filled with hate for liberals and gays who believes both are destroying our country.

Greg McKendry is the biggest hero of all - many of the witnesses saw him step right into the line of fire and take the first shot rather than have it kill several others nearby. Two more shots were fired before Adkisson was subdued and police arrived.

Sunday's service was a children's service where a production of an adaptation of Annie was just under way. Thankfully no children were hurt physically. All throughout the UU world we are mourning for all involved, but especially for the children who witnessed this horrible crime. We also mourn for the families of the dead and wounded, and for the TVUUC congregation as it tries to make sense of this and find its way back to worship and social action in their beautiful church, even knowing the horrors that just took place there.

I am grateful to all of the Knoxville congregations - Protestant, Catholic, Jewish and Muslim - who have rallied to TVUUC's side and denounced this violation of the sanctity we all cherish, no matter what our faith. Some of my very own east Tennessee family members have used hate speech in my presence, and I'm hoping this incident will persuade them to think again and monitor their words. The Jim David Adkissons of the world are listening.

I don't usually post here about non-poly-related events, and this may seem like one of the rare exceptions, but in a way it is consistent with the activism work I've been doing for many years now. I do my best to bring an attitude of tolerance and compassion to the most offensive online remarks made about polyamory, and certainly my UU values support me in that effort.

Fortunately the Unitarian Universalist Association has a very skilled trauma team. It along with UUA president Bill Sinkford headed to Knoxville immediately and are providing valuable services to the members of TVUUC and their loved ones. Now UU churches around the world, but especially in the US, are worrying about copycat killers and how to protect their congregations while remaining the open, welcoming and tolerant "sanctuary" they are. Our innocence has been stolen from us by hate, but we will respond with love and compassion. It is the UU way.

By the way, I am a candidate running unopposed for election to the Board of Trustees of Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness and will devote some of my activism time to increasing awareness of polyamory within the Unitarian Universalist Association. You might think that polyamory would be accepted as a matter of course in UU congregations, but some are uncomfortable being openly welcoming of polyamorists due to memories of how many relationships were disrupted or destroyed by the free love/human potential movement of the 1960s and 1970s. Back then people were indeed pretty much doing their thing without any skills to know how to make it work. Our job is to help them understand the differences between polyamory and free love in terms of knowledge and skills that preserve existing relationships - polyamory being Free Love 2.0, if you will.