Oregon State Uninvites Tristan Taormino as Keynote Speaker

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The Declaration of Independence and the Fight for Sexual Relationship Freedom

On this day of celebration of freedom in the United States, I received this inspiring video from a friend. It is excellent and worthy of 15 minutes of our time on Independence Day. In it, the actor Morgan Freeman sets the stage by describing the setting and circumstances in which the Declaration of Independence was prepared, signed and publicized. He then introduces a large and diverse group of our finest actors, from Kathy Bates to Mel Gibson to Kevin Spacey to Whoopie Goldberg, who then read the Declaration of Independence. Yes, it is patriotically inspiring, but I am also inspired by the words of the document in that they remind me of our duty to resist that which oppresses us.

I resist the tyranny of a one-size-fits-all standard of sexual loving relationship. I also resist the negativity that taints our views about ourselves as sexual beings. I will continue to resist until the day comes when resistance is no longer necessary. And I hope I will see the day when those whose preferred form of consenting adult romantic relationship and/or sexual expression does not subject them to the tyranny and oppression of those who believe that their way is the only way. Therein lies our ongoing struggle.

I am but one of a large and growing number of leaders who carry on this fight. Yet the fight is also being carried out by all of those who live their lives according to how they self-identify, oppression notwithstanding. Simply by having the courage to live a life authentic to who we are, we carry on the struggle for sexual relationship freedom. We are to be congratulated for doing so.

I wish you a happy, meaning-filled Independence Day. May it be grounded not just in patriotism but also in the fight for freedom of consenting adults to discover and to practice the intimate relationship structure and mode of sexual expression that best meets their emotional and human needs free of governmental, societal or institutional coercion or favoritism.

Review: Swingtown

The much anticipated debut of the CBS series Swingtown has finally happened, and I can't wait to see the next episode (this Thursday at 10:00 p.m. EDT). If you missed it last Thursday and need to be brought up to speed, you will find CBS's synopsis here.

The lives of the Swingtown characters were instantaneously recognizeable to me, and I'm sure CBS is counting on attracting many of we babyboomers. The most fascinating part of the story for me is that the swinging neighbor couple, Tom and Trina Decker, appear for all the world to have a very affectionate, loving, dare I say solid relationship. CBS didn't give in to temptation to paint them as troubled or morally defective or that they are in any way heading for a marital train wreck. Such temptation is understandable, since historically it has been safer to demonstrate how behavior that is traditionally viewed as immoral will lead to personal disaster. I imagine that our generally sex-negative society made this necessary in order for the network not to alienate a great many viewers.

But hooray, it seems that the times, they are a-changing! At least so far, CBS has presented this subject in non-pejorative terms. In fact, of the three couples who are the central characters, in addition to Tom and Trina, pictured here to the left, Susan and Bruce Miller (in the middle) are clearly very happily married and evenso have the capacity to receive the idea of swinging with an open mind.

Jane and Roger Thompson, on the right, are a different matter, though. Poor Roger is the long-suffering husband of a frigid, priggish wife who runs screaming from the room when she inadvertently discovers what's going on at the Decker's party. She immediately insists that she, Roger and the Millers leave the party, but the Millers elect to stick around. In a subsequent scene Jane is seen to be frantically scrubbing the kitchen, declaring that the house is a pig stye (it's clearly already perfect, since Jane is the model wife and mother) and saying in an angry tone to Roger "Don't touch me!" when he tried to reach out and comfort her.

Another fascinating aspect of Swingtown is the sexual exploring, coming-of-age experiences of these families' teenagers. Their stories are just as important and compelling as the stories of their parents.

There is a lot of drug use portrayed (coke, weed and quaaludes.) I'm sure there are lots of conservatives who were just as scandalized by that as by the open sexuality. I recall that aspect of that time as well and think the story wouldn't be authentic if that part of life back then weren't also referenced. It is essential, in fact, as it is another example of our cultural desire in the 1970s to experiment and break away from the strict moral and social standards with which we had lived for many years prior.

I very much enjoyed being taken back to the mid 1970s - the music, the clothes, all of it. I was a young 20-something married woman at that time, a child of the 1960s and the sexual revolution, but not quite yet a mom or living in an affluent suburb, though that would soon follow. I don't recall living across the street from anyone like Tom and Trina, though I do recall some flirtation and making out with some neighbors we were close to - let's see, his name was Ralph, and hers was Sharon. Then there were Bud and Sandy, who came to our halloween party dressed as love bugs, those kind of cute but annoying, car-paint-peeling insects in central Florida that fly in swarming, procreating pairs. To this day it was the most clever couple's costume I've ever seen.

Ah, those were the days, and what an exciting time it was. Hopefully Swingtown will succeed and continue to take us back to this time of great social change that laid the groundwork for the next chapter in the sexual revolution.