Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Polyamory and Jealousy on wikiHow

How to Practise Polyamory

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

I've just discovered wikiHow, a fascinating repository based on the Wikipedia model where you can find info and write articles on how to do just about anything. Articles include everything from how to create a wreathe to how to supress the gag reflex (hmmm - could come in handy, that), to, yes, how to practice polyamory and how to stop being jealous. Both of the latter two topics are fairly brief and straightforward. The jealousy article isn't presented in a poly context but nevertheless makes many important and accurate points. One must look elsewhere for more indepth treatments of these subjects, but wikiHow gives enough info to get one thinking in the right direction.

Next wikiHow article for me to review - how not to look like an American tourist (in anticipation of traveling to Europe in summer 2009).


Russ said...

Interesting how far some people will go to justify their own selfish desires. There's more to life than getting your funky off and avoiding those pesky little societal mores. It's called self-discipline, lady, and it's what lifted us out of the jungles with the wild animals. Individual responsibility. It's how you grow as a person. 'Polyamory' - OMG.

Anita Wagner said...

Russ, it seems that you are confused about what polyamory is and is not. Anyone living a truly polyamorous life would agree that it isn't just about sex - it's about really getting to know different people with different qualities and faults and experiences and loving them with as few conditions as possible.

Selfishness is a sure way to fail at these relationships. They aren't for everyone, and they demand a fair amount of self-sacrifice in order to keep all the relationships healthy and happy. This is not about base instincts and exploitation - far from it.

Polyamorists aren't players. Players don't invest emotionally. I'm not saying that I disapprove of sex for recreational purposes between consenting adults. As long as those engaged are careful about using safer sex practices and getting tested regularly for STIs, it has been proven to enhance people's sex lives without damaging their relationships.

Sex-negativity is an illness in our society that damages people's self-esteem and creates sex-starved relationships. Polyamory is about loving relationships that include true, heart-based intimacy and are founded on trust and a generosity of heart and spirit.