It doesn't matter that he is generally pro poly. His is the last opinion I'd value on that question. What does matter is that his toxic, scornful cynicism leads him to step on his own dick while at the same time slandering others and poisoning the minds of his readers against them:
But What If I Like The Way My Assumptions About Men and Women Are Framed? posted by Dan Savage on October 14 at 11:35 AM
"I’m not a big proponent of monogamy, as most everyone is certainly aware by this point, and I’m generally pro-polyamory, even if “many loves” aren’t for me. I had a hard enough time conning one dude into putting up with my shit; I can’t imagine that I could possibly con two or three dudes."
Anita: No surprise there!
"But at the risk of sounding polyphobic, I have to say that this event sounds like hell on earth:"
Quoting an article on DigitalJournal.com:
Sure, it doesn’t have the turnout of the annual Gay Pride Parade in New York City but the Poly Pride Weekend made its way to The Big Apple and just celebrated its 8th annual event.
To kick off the celebration, there was a Super Massive Cuddle Party that allowed registrants a discounted opportunity to engage in multi-person, multi-gender activity and was '…a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection, a space to reframe assumptions about men and women, and a great networking event to meet new friends, roommates, business partners and significant others.'
Dan continues:
"Uh… yeah. That’s where I want to meet my new business partners and roommates—in a pile of folks copping feels in Central Park. Another reason to miss the Super Massive Cuddle Party—youth pastors!"
The article continues:
An article in the NYT gives a sneak peak into the life of Diana Adams, a Cornell-educated attorney and the VP of Polyamourous NYC. Adams, who use to be a youth minister in a Christian church and is now involved with both men and women on a regular basis.
Oh, where to begin? First, no one said cuddle parties are for everyone. Heck, they're not even for me really. I'm an affectionate person toward people once I've had enough time to get to know and like them, but I've tried cuddle parties and FOR ME it takes a bit more time to feel comfortable than the situation allows. I'm not particularly interested in cuddling with strangers.
That doesn't mean cuddle parties aren't great experiences and phenominal events for many others. They offer exercises in emotional growth, boundary setting, and just plain fun and healing. It's a way for people who don't have enough touch in their lives to get it in a non-sexually charged atmosphere, and there's nothing unhealthy or, God forbid, sex-negative about it. Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baszynski, the Cuddle Party founders, are great community leaders and savvy poly practitioners who are also valuable role models. Dan Savage would be lucky to count them as friends. I know I am.
As for his slam on Diana Adams because she USED TO BE a youth minister, Diana is yet another valuable community leader and role model who at last month's Loving More East Coast Conference in Greenwich, NY, gave a keynote speech during which she said that her goal is to make sure that every student on college campuses knows that they have options in how they organize their intimate relationships. She is bright, energetic, ambitious, and serves the polyamory community in many ways, not the least of which is her crusade to provide legal assistance to polyamorists who are victims of bias and discrimination on the job and in the family courts when child custody is challenged. Again, I am glad to be able to count her as a friend.
Together Reid, Marcia and Diana have done more good for more people than Dan Savage ever will, at least until he does some serious work on that dissocial personality of his.
Yes, Dan pissed me off, and yes, I'm biased. I have no regrets about that particular bias, since I consider it entirely reasonable to favor people who actually do great things to serve their community instead of sitting around shooting their mouth off and denigrating others who do.
And as if all that weren't enough, I found the smug comment of Dawgson to reflect very poorly on the Seattle poly community, which I know to be vibrant and full of positive, welcoming energy. I have many friends there. Dawgson wrote, "Am I the only one that's shocked the Poly Pride Parade isn't being hosted here in Seattle?"
Maybe Dawgson needs to get up off his behind and make it happen like the amazing group of people who get the credit for bringing the dynamic Poly Pride Rally and related events into being.
1 comment:
I used to think the Cuddle Party concept was stupid, but then I attended one of them. I was amazed at how cool it really was. I found that I liked the exercises they had in the beginning. They were empowering and taught about building boundaries. Dan Savage should attend a Cuddle Party before forming an opinion.
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