Sunday, May 30, 2010

MTV Returns for Follow Up with Gay Quad in Charlotte

What an interesting development!  Last year MTV's True Life episode on polyamory profiled an MFF poly vee relationship in NYC and a poly quad in Charlotte, NC.  You can read about it in more detail here.  Now there is news that True Life has returned to Charlotte a year later to see what's up these days with Jeremy Eudy, Thomas Freyre, Jim Messaros and Chris Morgan.

Last time around this was a triad - looks like Thomas, Jim and Christ added their fourth partner, Jeremy, in the interim.  The triad was struggling to find their way in dealing with conflicts that commonly arise in new poly relationships, what I call riding the poly rollercoaster (with attendant highs and lows).  I'm crossing my fingers for them and hoping that they were able to sort things out and make it work.  Time (and apparently MTV) will tell, and I very much look forward to watching this follow-up episode of True Life.  No word yet on when it will be broadcast.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Hooray! Another Lambda Literary Award for Polyamory

Congratulations to Australian researcher and author Dr. Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli for winning the Lambda Literary Award in a tie for her bisexual and polyamory themed fictional book, Love You Two.   I've read this book and enjoyed it immensely.  It is about a teenage girl who accidentally discovers that her mother is polyamorous - she has a boyfriend in addition to her husband, and all three partners are open and honest about the situation . . . . This book deals with issues such as teenage sex, date rape, bisexuality, homosexuality, polyamory, and rainbow families in a sensitive and subtle way. Despite its themes, it is suitable for reading by teenagers and possibly younger children if their parents feel they are mature enough.

The book tied for the award in Bisexual Fiction with Holy Communion by Mykola Dementiuk. 

For those in the NYC area the celebration of the arts in the bisexual community continues with 'Bi Lines III: a Celebration of Bisexual Writing in Reading, Music & Culture tonight at 7:30PM at NYC's LGBT Community Services Center, 208 West 13th Street in NYC's West Village

This is the second Lambda Literary win for books with polyamory themes, the first being Jenny Block's win in the bisexual non-fiction category for her book Open:  Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage in 2008.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Polyamory on Starz Series Party Down

So lately I've been getting into a new ensemble comedy series on the Starz premium cable network called Party Down, about a group of people who work for a catering company by that name. It stars, amongst others, the awesome Megan Mullally (sans that awful nasally voice she did on Will & Grace) and rising star Lizzy Caplan who played Jason Stackhouse's hippie girlfriend, Amy Burley, in Season 1 of True Blood.   Each episode of Party Down is the story of what happens at an event they are catering.  In this week's episode #204, they are catering a wake given by the family of a prominent, newly-deceased African American businessman. 

SPOILER ALERT - If you think you may see this show and don't want to know ahead of time what happens in episode 204, read no further. If you want to know more or just don't care either way, scroll down a bit....





SO! Present at the wake is, of course, the deceased's widow and his daughter.  The daughter hired and is the liaison to the Party Down staff.  We learn fairly early on that these ladies have an expectation that representatives from "the Phoenix office" of the deceased's employer would attend to pay their respects, and there's resentment when it seems no one has been sent to honor their dead executive who over the years spent a lot of time away from home working in that office.

A pretty blonde woman with a mixed race teenaged son arrives, and someone assumes she is the rep of a homeless shelter who is expected to pick up extra food being donated to the shelter.  But she is distraught, and it is soon obvious that she is not from the homeless shelter and knew the deceased VERY well.  The hostess/daughter figures this out and orders the caterers to do something to keep the deceased's paramour from encountering the widow and tipping her off that her dead husband had had another family stashed away. 

Daughter and staff cook up a scheme where the mistress is introduced to the widow as a representative from the Phoenix office.  The mistress manages to play it cool until she walks up to the casket and starts bawling.  She recovers somewhat and just as she is introduced to the widow as being from the Phoenix office, someone who is REALLY from the Phoenix office shows up and says to the widow something like, "We wanted to convey our condolences.  Though we only saw him a few times a year, your husband was well respected ...."  Yadee yadee yadee.... 

At this point a look of realization comes over the widow's face, and naturally everyone thinks the sh*t is about to hit the fan.  But instead of the widow freaking out, imagine my surprise and delight when she says very pleasantly something along the lines of "Oh, you must be her!  Well, I'm so glad you could come by.  This must be your son.  What a fine looking boy.  You know I always thought you'd be Asian, he always liked the Asian girls.  Anyway, we so appreciate your being here."  At this point she turns to her daughter and the catering staffers and says with a smile:

"Thank goodness he and I had an open marriage.  We never would have lasted if we hadn't!"

Of course, everyone is left standing with their mouths agape, not believing what they've just heard (while I'm sitting at home clapping and cheering), as the widow strolls away chatting with another guest.  As awesome as that all is, there's still more - the episode closes with the arrival of a pretty Asian woman and HER racially mixed teenaged son. 

You can see a couple of clips from episode 204 here, though none of them references this part of the story line.  Otherwise, all I can say to this is THANK YOU MO' NIQUE!

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Pinky Song by Alicyn Packard

Healthy sexuality comes in many forms, and everything I post here happens with an underlying sex-positive pansexual context. Once in a while I will post something here purely for its entertainment value.

I sometimes present workshops to kinky people, many, many of whom are polyamorous, and there are many who read this blog. Role play afficionados will especially like this. Thanks to my friend Lisa Vandever, awesome director of the Cinekink Film Festival, for the tip on this hilarious video - enjoy!

Friday, May 14, 2010


Just came across this and love it! Fourth wife indeed. Love the imagery of the football through the THREE tires.

Personal Stories on Polyamory and Compersion on Radio Netherlands Worldwide

This just in.  Executive Director Robyn Trask and her partner, Managing IT Director Jesus Garcia, both of Loving More, give a great polyamory interview in this radio piece in which they are interviewed by Radio Netherlands Worldwide (in English, never fear) in partnership with WAMU public radio here in Washington, DC.  The radio show is The State We're In, and this episode is titled Flirtation, Love, Romance and Polyamory

Robyn and Jesus talk about their poly relationship and their relationships with other lovers, both their own and each other's.  Robyn's sweetie, guitarist and singer Ben Silver, is also interviewed about his relationships with both Robyn as his sweetie and Jesus as Robyn's primary partner.  Ben also sings some of his lovely polyamory- focused music.  Though she doesn't use the word, Robyn speaks at length about how compersion works for her in her relationships.  (For more info on compersion, see also the handout from my compersion workshop.)

You will listen through or skip over a brief news interlude, and the poly segment is first up and concludes at 22 minutes in.  Be sure to listen to that point - Ben's lovely vocals and harmonies on the song "More Love" are not to be missed! 

The group picture I've used above was taken at last fall's Loving More Retreat, and a happier bunch of people you'll never see.  We were all feeling our bliss by the time pictures were taken on Sunday.  Please consider joining us for this year's retreat September 10-12 on 175 acres in the beautiful, rural, clothing-optional setting of Easton Mountain Retreat in upstate New York.  The beds are comfortable, the food organic and fresh out of the garden, the company fabulous and the opportunities for learning, growing and connecting truly awesome.  Hope to see you there!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Woody Allen Does Polyamory Again in Whatever Works

After Woody Allen's 2008 film Vicky Cristina Barcelona created a sensation in the poly community due to the poly elements in its story line, I am surprised that I didn't hear anything about his 2009 movie, Whatever Works.  I just happened upon it on Netflix.  Though polyamory isn't the main story line, there is definitely a lovely example of functional polyamory present.  Of course, it's portrayed in the context of bohemian life in Greenwich Village and not as taking place in some mainstream middle class suburban setting, but still, we'll take a healthy portral of polyamory whereever we can get it. 

Apparently Allen is enthralled with polyamory, or so it would seem if two movies in a row with poly elements form a pattern.  But unlike VCB, this one never had a wide release in theaters.  It was first shown as the premiere film at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2009 and stars Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Evan Rachel Wood (Sophie-Ann Leclerq, the vampire queen of Louisiana, on True Blood), as well as Michael McKean, Ed Begley, Jr., and the awesome Patricia Clarkson (also in VCB), who plays a blissed-out newby poly person.

In addition to it's polyamory aspect, this film also appeals to me because it juxtaposes in romantic relationships God-fearing NRA-member traditional southerners with denizens of Greenwich Village and demonstrates how bohemian culture can open eyes and minds. 

So this is definitely a film worth seeing so long as you don't mind Larry David's character Boris's ascerbic, angst-ridden, narcissistic, hypochondriacal, anti-social, suicidal carrying on.  Of course, it wouldn't be a Woody Allen film without some of that.  And it's definitely interesting to see what happens when Allen introduces Boris's new love interest , Melody, played by Wood, who is a sweet, smart, inquisitive, enthusiastic and independent young southern woman.  Only Allen could make that scenario seem plausible, which he does and masterfully, master that he is.
Some favorite quotes:

Boris: Can you believe this cracker, this red state Neanderthal, this mindless zombie of the National Rifle Association?

John (Ed Begley, Jr.): My shrink says that the guns were all a manifestation of my sexual inadequacy.

Boris:  Yeah, if it wasn't for sexual inadequacy the National Rifle Association would go broke!


Boris: ... I can't say enough times, whatever love you can get and give, whatever happiness you can filch or provide, every temporary measure of grace, whatever works. 

(That last one's not such a bad point of view when it comes to arranging one's love life as one will instead of doing what others expect of us.)

Monday, May 10, 2010

Poly Living and Loving More Coming to Seattle this Fall!

Loving More is thrilled to announce that for the first time it will be holding a major polyamory relationship conference in Seattle and is excited to bring this wonderful conference to an equally wonderful part of the country.  The Poly Living Conference, being held October 22-24, 2010,  features a range of informative workshops from basic to advanced and intellectual to experiential, covering topics both fun and serious.  Poly Living, orginally founded by the late George Marvil, is a place to learn relationship skills that support healthy polyamorous realationships.

• Friday night Keynote,Concert and Reception

• Saturday to Sunday- 18 Amazing workshops by nationally known polyamory facilitators and presenters

• Saturday Luncheon

Click here for pricing and details

Featuring in Concert Friday Night - Bone Poets Orchestra

Bone Poets Orchestra (formally known as Gaia Consort) will be performing in concert Friday following the keynote address.  Bone Poets Orchestra describes itself as psychedelic Steampunk in the tradition of Jethro Tull, Pink Floyd and other hallucinogenic masters.  Listen to Bone Poets Music here.

Hope to see you there!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Deborah Anapol and Polyamory Get Their Own Blog on

Dr. Deborah Anapol, co-founder with Ryam Nearing in the early 1990s of  Loving More and author of Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits (now out of print) has just announced the following:

" case you’re still wondering whether polyamory has gone mainstream, I’ve just been asked to blog about polyamory for Psychology Today. My new blog, Love Without Limits: Reports from the Relationship Frontier will be up soon. Please visit me there, offer your own views in the 'comments' section, and share this link with your friends."

No wondering on my part, other poly leaders and I have been discussing and writing about the mainstreaming of polyamory for more than three years now.  It's gratifying to see that the polyamory movement has now reached a place where mainstream psychology is taking note and recognizes that this trend is important and substantial enough to warrant regular, high visibility commentary. 

Anapol must have a good publicist to land such a plum writing opportunity.  Her re-entry into the world of polyamory is also being fueled by publication next month of her new book, Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners, about which I've heard good things and will post a review here once I've purchased and read it.  She asked me to write a piece for it on recent polyamory leadership initiatives, which I did.  It will be interesting to hear what she has to say about the current state of the practice of polyamory, especially since she dropped out of polyamory circles and remained pretty much silent on the subject for the last several years, seemingly focusing on other things. Younger poly leaders, used to the fast pace of the flow of information via the internet and social networking sites, seem to barely know who she is, if at all.  Still, for ten years or so Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits and The Ethical Slut (1st ed) by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt/Janet Hardy, were the only books available by which to navigate the waters of polyamory.  For their existence I will always be grateful, especially Anapol's section on jealousy.  We'll see whether this new book has the chops to rate up there with Tristan Taormino's Opening Up and the vastly expanded and improved 2nd edition of The Ethical Slut as a staple reference resource on polyamorists' book shelves.  If you are one of those polyamorists who knows little or nothing about Anapol and would like to know more, visit her website.