Of course, Tiger Woods's extramarital relationships are THE big news right now. I came across this cartoon just as I was musing about the similarities with the South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford affair that broke in June of this year. Though not identical in that Sanford appears to have genuinely fallen in love with his mistress, while Woods seems to have connections that are more sex-based, couples can and do negotiate agreements that permit either or both. (Another of my posts on the Sanford story can be found here. This one includes political cartoons.)
And of course, we have no idea what agreement may exist between Tiger and Elin Woods, or how she as a European views infidelity. They are said to be in counseling together, though today's news is that Elin may have purchased a home in Sweden on an island reachable only by ferry and gone there with the children. If so, Tiger's situation may sadly mirror Governor Sanford's even more closely, i.e. resulting in the breakup of the family. It seems pretty clear that Tiger's sexual relationships weren't conducted openly with Elin Woods's knowledge. Still, wouldn't it be better if they had some sort of agreement that permitted connecting with others so long as trust isn't broken? Trouble is that I doubt there's any wife who'd not be outraged by being subjected to the media frenzy surrounding this story and very concerned about protecting her children from prying eyes and hurtful comments.
It would seem that even the most talented, successful and wealthy among us share the same relationship challenges as we regular people. When it comes to faith and trust in marital relationships, the playing field is even for all of us. No one is exempt from having to be accountable for breaking relationship agreements. A lot of pain and difficulty could be avoided if the Woodses, like Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, agreed that sexual flings were OK so long as commitment to the marriage is genuine and not undermined by intimacy with others.
Monogamy works well for some but not others. Social status, religion, race, sexual orientation, and political philosophy don’t matter. Honesty, openness, love, commitment, communication, patience, and egalitarianism do. Here I pass along what I’ve learned and teach at events on common challenges polyamorists encounter and their practical remedies, along with thoughts on related subjects such as community organizing, activism, and sexual freedom. Feel free to comment – and welcome!
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3 comments:
I myself am not polyamorous - but I also like say that I am "straight" but not narrow. I have friends who are polyamorous and I feel consenting adults are consenting adults.
That is why I did a google search specifically to see what the ploy-a community has to say about the Tiger Tale (Tail?) hullabaloo.
With that introduction, I now present my questions/comments:
Even if he and Elin had an "open marriage" agreement - he did not seem to be too honest with any of the multitude of other women in his "stable" either! At least one mistress - incredulously - said she was horrified to learn that she was not his "only' mistress, a revelation that allegedly caused her to end her affair!
What do folks here think about claims of sex addiction?
What is diff between him and, say, Mick Jaeger?
And what about a word I have no heard mentioned: misogyny. Does his behavior not indicate a pattern of treating women as his playthings - objectifying them and certainly a lack of any equality or respect.
NTW - heard she bought a home but doubt he's there as SHE called 911 from HIS house for her mother today.
To Anonymous -- I think it's easy to write off Tiger's infidelities as sexual addiction, but think about it: He's away from home for extended periods of time, he's hugely popular and attractive, and he's ridiculously wealthy. Women probably accost him constantly. That's difficult to resist when you haven't seen your wife in a long time.
To me, the sad thing about Tiger (aside from his dishonesty to his wife) is that, like Michael Jordan, he has become someone people see as a role model, which makes his fall from grace that much more sensational. He and his family are under even more media scrutiny than ever (which may explain Elin's move to a remote island even more than that she's hiding from Tiger), and it all could have been avoided with honesty and communication.
Song Title: What did I do
Subject: R& B song about infidelity. The lyrics also address the new tinsel town bogus "sex addict" cop-out. Video is the lyric sheet synchronized to the audio recording.
Video URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZp8u_vGgYo
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