Poly Pride Celebration in NYC

Polyamorous NYC's polyamory pride weekend happened this past weekend, and I'm still flying high on the incredible energy that typified every single experience I had there. I have to say right up front what a fantastic job Polyamorous NYC did in organizing and producing this event. Producer Lyndell Moore (in picture to the right, second from the left) deserves big props, as does Poly NYC president Birgitte Philippides (far left), under whose capable and dedicated leadership this event spread its wings and soared, along with the support of founder Justen Michael Bennett-Maccubbin (3rd from the left) and all of the committee members who together created a weekend I'll always remember.

The event spawned press coverage both in the New York Times and the New York Post , plus interest from others like a free-lance film maker who gathered footage to support a poly documentary pitch to HBO and who interviewed many speakers and attendees at the Saturday afternoon rally and picnic.

Polyamory Weekly podcaster Cunningminx was also there, and it was a great pleasure to both meet her (finally!) and once again be interviewed for the podcast. (See picture of Minx and me above.) You can hear Minx's podcast coverage part one of two of the event and my interview (28 minutes in) here. And of course, Alan M. of Polyamory in the News was also there documenting the day's events.

I also had the honor of introducing to one another two of this year's new poly book authors, Tristan Taormino and Jenny Block, with me at left. Also it was the first time Jenny and I have met, though we've been on-line friends and collaborators for many months now.

Here's a picture of me (taken by Minx - thanks, Minx!) on the podium where I spoke about The Mainstreaming of Polyamory.

Entertainment at the rally was outstanding. I especially enjoyed America's Got Talent competitors the Glamazons - four sassy big women pictured here who are the stuff of many a wet dream - and the Raven Schecter trio who were both polished and hilarious. Here's a piece of their performance also recorded by Minx.


You can find a complete list of the speakers and performers here, and, not surprisingly, Tristan Taormino's keynote address was both entertaining and inspiring. I especially appreciated her call for the Same-Sex Marriage Movement to stop "throwing polyamory under the bus." What she is referring to is the ill-advised distancing from polyamory the SSM leadership does - primarily its leader, Evan Wolfson - in order to avoid any confirmation that Stanley Kurtz's slippery slope actually exists - which it does as multi-partner marriage is concerned. Politically expedient or not, that practice is unethical and discriminatory.

OK, down off my soap box and on with Poly Pride events review.

And that, so far, is just what I had to tell you regarding the picnic and rally, which was the feature event of the weekend. In addition to that, there was a Friday night cuddle party, the largest held anywhere ever, with over 110 people in attendance.

On Saturday night there was an awesome after party held in a classy loft space overlooking the Hudson River. There was a great DJ and a steady stream of performers from the vamping drag performers the Pixie Harlots to talented burlesque performer Nasty Canasta

And as if all that weren't enough, Sunday morning brought us a fabulous poly book authors reading and signing event where nine authors read from their works. It was held at the Blue Stockings radical book store in the east Village, and the room was packed - clearly the late partiers didn't let anything stop them from soaking up all that poly wisdom.

Lastly, 34 poly leaders, activists and community organizers gathered for a well-facilitated summit on polyamory activism during which there was a great exchange of ideas that sparked synergy that I look forward to sharing and building on in the days, weeks and months ahead. The next poly leadership summit will be held on Monday, March 2, 2009, following the Poly Living conference to be held the previous weekend, February 27 to March 1 in the Philadelphia suburbs. Poly Living is put on by the Loving More organization, which was well represented at poly pride weekend by Loving More Managing Director Robyn Trask and her partner Jesus Garcia. (Pictured here with Tristan Taormino and myself.) One of the biggest benefits to the polyamory community of this poly pride weekend is that many of the priorities recognized at the leadership summit are also priorities Loving More has already been pursuing. There was so much enthusiasm from those gathered for helping Loving More to move those projects along that Loving More will benefit and so will the polyamory community.

Whew! Once again, I can't thank Poly-NYC enough for all their hard work in putting on this historic polyamory pride event. Years from now it will be seen as a time when polyamory in all its colors and shapes and sizes took a big step forward toward becoming the legitimate, vibrant and gratifying choice in intimate relationship structure that it truly is.

Polyamory in Today's Washington Post

To anyone reading this who didn't know I'm a polyamorist and found that out by reading Pairs with Spares, Monica Hesse's long Washington Post Style Section feature article on polyamory published today, now you know why I have pictures of more than one partner on my desk.

Robyn Trask of LovingMore and I worked with Monica beginning the week before the Poly Living polyamory conference and during the conference, at which she was a constant, respectful presence, to supply her with answers and other interview subjects. By devoting an entire weekend plus some to fact gathering she has managed to distill a huge amount of information and capture the philosophy and spirit of polyamory, as well as some of the practicalities associated with poly relationships. The one glaring omission is any mention about STIs and how we manage those risks. I've left a comment on the website addressing that point in response to another person's comment.

As will happen, a minor point or two in my story wasn't quite accurate. I'm a co-founder of Chesapeake Polyamory Network, not the sole founder. There were six of us altogether, including my partner, Jim. (CPN celebrates it's tenth anniversary this summer.) I lived with Jim for about six years, and though the primary aspect of our relationship eventually changed, the love and high esteem in which we hold each other hasn't. Through our work together as co-founders of the Institute for 21st Century Relationships, Jim taught me a lot about activism and community organizing - much of it based on his experience long ago with the NRA.

A word of caution, there are some snarky comments already being posted on the Post's website. I encourage you to respond and help further understanding, but if you choose to do so, please use a respectful tone, no matter how unfair the comments may be. Taking the high road here is very important - we have an exceedingly rare public relations opportunity to educate the local public Let's make the most of it.

Many thanks to Monice Hesse and The Washington Post for writing a fair, objective article and capturing we polyamorists as who we truly are.

Report from PolyLiving 2008

PolyLiving 2008 is now a memory, and what a fond one it is. Attendees declared it by far the best polyamory conference they'd ever attended primarily due to the high quality of the presentations.

A huge thank-you to Robyn Trask and Jesus Garcia of LovingMore for their tireless work to put this conference together. Likewise, many thanks to registration assistant Lyndell, whose friendly smiles and hugs added to the warmth of the weekend.

I liked all of the workshops I attended. Rev. Dr. Beverly Dale's "Love and Marriage in Bible Times: Lessons in Polyamory" was excellent, as was attorney Diana Adams's "Love Wars: Polyamory and Law, Politics, and Culture". So was Polyamorous NYC's Birgitte Philippides's "Group Sex and Emotional Safety: How to Successfully Navigate Threesomes, Foursomes and Beyond!" This is not to take anything away from the other presentations - I'd have attended all of them if that were possible.

Monica Hesse of the Washington Post was present all weekend attending workshops and interviewing participants, especially those from the Washington, DC area. (Yours truly has reason to believe she will be quoted and her picture will be included.) The article is to be published some time yet this week. Monica was the essence of professionalism, going to great lengths to help people be comfortable with her presence.

The most wonderfully unique aspect of attending a polyamory conference is the warmth and good-will vibe that builds throughout the weekend. This was especially true at this conference. By the time the festivities were winding up on Sunday, the positive, loving energy was palpable. Hugs were flying about the crowd gathered in the hotel lobby for a good 30 minutes following the closing sessions, and it was clear that no one really wanted to leave and return to the real world. But as my partner, Jim Fleckenstein, is fond of saying, Brigadoon does indeed vanish into the mist, to return after the requisite time has passed. At least in this case it's more likely only one year instead of one hundred.

Can't Wait! Poly Living in Philadelphia this Weekend

Hi all - Though I've definitely been looking forward to it, now that PolyLiving is almost here, I'm getting excited about it. There will be a great mix of intriguing programs presented by long-time community friends and newcomers alike, and after some years off the polyamory grid, we'll be hearing what keynoter Deborah Anapol has to say about polyamory in the 21st century.

On the poly-in-the-media front, the Washington Post will have a reporter present to cover the event. Also, Polyamory in the News blogger Alan will be covering the event for Minx of the Polyamory Weekly podcast. Both Alan and Minx make a very valuable contribution to the community, and I'm really glad that the portion of the wider polyamory community unable to attend will have a chance to hear about the conference in such a direct way.

Lots of fun will be had on Saturday evening. My dear friend Mim Chapman's video of her sex ed stage play, Penis/Vagina Dialogues, will be featured, along with the ever popular Cuddle Party. And (my sweetie) Jim Fleckenstein of the Institute for 21st Century Relationships/the Foundation of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom will be present all weekend extending his hand to the poly community and learning more about how best ITCR/FNCSF might serve polyfolk everywhere.

So there will be many opportunities to learn, gain resources, make friends, meet future loves (poly relationships understandably tend to sprout like weeds from these conferences), get the word out, and just have a great good time in poly community. And of course, none of this would be happening without the efforts of our dearly departed friend, George Marvil, PolyLiving's founder. Neither would it be happening without the efforts of Robyn Trask and Jesus Garcia of LovingMore, who have picked up where George left off and are once again making this very popular conference available to serve both long-time poly community members and to provide education and support to poly newbies as well.

Hope I'll see you there!