Communication Skills Resources

Recently I was talking with a friend who is experiencing problems in a relationship around effective communication, or more specifically, the lack thereof. I sat down and wrote down some resources that came to mind.

Non-Violent Communication - Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.



The Getting Real series - Susan Campbell, Ph.D.



The Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman, Ph.D.



Because so much of our communications challenges are centered around fear, I'll include my tried and true fear reference as well, which serves well for any personal challenges where fear is a major factor.

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway - Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

Note that many of these authors offer workbooks for and audio recordings of their books and/or workshops that function as highly useful companion tools for implementing lessons learned. Also, the skills learned are valuable not just in making polyamorous relationships work but for all the important relationships in our lives.

What other communication skills resources do you recommend? A comment here or an e-mail to anita.wagner@practicalpolyamory.com would be most welcome.

Hope this helps!

Polyamory's Terms: Choosing the Difficult Right Over the Easy Wrong

Kudos to my friend, Alan, of Polyamory in the News, who recently posted the following to a discussion group with regard to public advocacy for polyamory. It applies equally well for those seeking guidelines to determine whether polyamory may be right for them and any existing relationship.

Alan says:

If we have a PR message to put out -- and I believe that we do -- here's my take on what it should be:

Polyamory can work wonderfully for some minority of people. But to
work, it requires:

** High ethical standards: honesty, communication, and a readiness to choose the difficult right over the easy wrong.

** A commitment to learning ways to make relationships and communication work well. This often entails time and attention for personal-growth work.

** Reading up on the hard-won wisdom that the poly community has accumulated.

** A kind and generous heart.

Even then it's not for everyone, not for most, and this is okay; don't let anyone buffalo you into it. If you do go for it, don't expect it to be easy, certainly not at first. But for some small minority of people, it can open up dazzling new worlds of joy and wonder that most never imagine.