Join Me for Reid's Day of Jealousy Teleclasses

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Poly activist Birgitte Philippides on WE TV's "The Secret Lives of Women"

New York City polyamory activist and Poly Pride organizer Birgitte Philippides was one of the women featured in the most recent episode of the WE (Women's Entertainment) cable network program "The Secret Lives of Women" which aired last night. See video clip below (sorry that it begins with a @#%*! commercial!) Birgitte is such an eloquent spokesperson for polyamory. In this program she speaks from the heart about what her poly life and her poly partners mean to her and why for her a poly life is a fulfilling life.

I especially enjoyed the honesty with which she and WE addressed the subject. Her life is examined from several angles. Birgitte's mother, to whom Birgitte is clearly close but who strongly disapproves of Birgitte's poly life, tells her part of the story. We also see Birgitte and some of her poly partners together, both male and female, as well as her art which serves to express her emotions about her life and relationships. It was also fun to see some other people I know in the video, i.e. Cuddleparty founders Reid Mahalko and Marcia Baczynski.

WE turns out to be an excellent venue for exploring polyamory in women's lives. It describes itself as "the content destination where strong, confident women connect to fun, entertaining programming focused on pop culture, personal style and relationships." What more could we ask?

Strong women have been leading the way in speaking about their poly lives to the media and online for quite a few years now, and Birgitte's appearance on this program is the latest example. Kudos to Birgitte and the WE network!

Poly Pride NYC was Fabulous!

I had a truly wonderful time in NYC this weekend. I was invited to speak as a polyamory activist at Polyamorous NYC's annual Poly Pride Celebration on the great hill in Central Park. What a tremendous day - great weather and even greater friends. I estimate that about 150 people attended and enjoyed the entertainment and speakers.

I call the subject of my address, "The Polytics of Polyamory". You can read my remarks here.

Many thanks to Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski for the super massive cuddle party Friday night. What a playful, loving, vibrant bunch of people there were getting their cuddle on, and Reid and Marcia really know how to set the tone.



Birgitte Philippides is the organizer of this event, and the NY poly community is fortunate indeed to have her in its midsts. Her hard work and dedication paid off big time. I was her guest for the event, which offered me an opportunity to get to know more people than perhaps I would have otherwise, including .....





The Wet Spots, a/k/a John Woods and Cass King. They were the featured entertainment at the poly pride after party held Saturday night at the NYC LGBT Community Center, conveniently located right in Birgitte's west village neighborhood. They certainly surpassed my expectations. I had a front row seat for the performance, which offered an opportunity to catch every nuance of facial expression, which is vast, especially as Cass goes. She is a delightfully bawdy singer and comedienne, with her husband, John, a very fine musician and singer, sometimes playing the, er, straight man (so to speak). If you get a chance to see them perform, DO NOT miss them. They are cleverly hysterical.

I bought both their CDs and their DVD. Now their kinky, naughty little ditties are constantly running through my head, especially the one Cass belts out as well as anyone called "Booty Call" and the fun sing-along "Smack My Bottom."

And of course, just about everyone in the sex-positive community has seen the hilarious video of their song "Do You Take It". And with the holidays approaching, be sure not to miss the very special video of their holiday song which is sure to become a classic, Fist Me This Christmas (snicker.... Got that, baby???)

Sex Negativity and Stupid School Tricks

An article in the Washington Post, "Va. School's No-Contact Rule Is a Touchy Subject", just caught my attention. I'm a proponent of sex-positivity due to all the sex negativity that was instilled in me earlier in my life which caused relationship problems for me. So when I see our public schools banning any form of touch whatsoever – including high fives and hand shakes - I am especially appalled.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not encouraging inappropriate touching or any form of sexual activity amongst middle school students, at school or elsewhere, but I’m still appalled that students at Kilmer Middle School in metro DC Vienna, Virginia are prohibited from an occasional innocent touch. This is a great example of the totally asinine, heavy handed sledge hammers public schools often use to kill flies (so to speak).

“All touching -- not only fighting or inappropriate touching -- is against the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna. Hand-holding, handshakes and high-fives? Banned. The rule has been conveyed to students this way: ‘NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!’”

“[School officials] explained that the rule is necessary to keep crowded hallways and lunchrooms safe and orderly, and ensures that all students are comfortable. But Hal [Beaulieu], 13, and his parents think the school's hands-off approach goes too far, and they are lobbying for a change.”

Good for them! Hal recently found himself in big trouble for putting his arm around his girlfriend.

“A school security officer spotted this and sent Hal to the school office, where he was cited for two infractions. He was warned that a third misstep could lead to in-school suspension or detention.”

“School officials said that the girl didn't complain and that they have no reason to believe the hug was unwelcome.”

"Usually an askance look from a teacher or a reminder to move along is enough to stop girls who are holding hands and giggling in a huddle or a boy who pats a buddy on the back."

Humans are often inclined to appropriately touch each other, and the majority, which apparently includes students referenced in the article, fully understand what kinds of touch are appropriate and what kinds are not. Many, many people are touch starved, which became evident during Cuddle Parties, which have proven wildly successful, surprising everyone, including their originators, Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski.

What kind of message are our schools sending to students when they punish touching? Can’t be very good. At least young Hal has parents who understand and encourage hugs and appropriate touching and are willing to challenge this ridiculous rule by asking the Fairfax County School Board to review it.