MOMENTUM CON - Featuring Defining Non-Monogamy: Bridging the Gap in the Community

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Polyamory's Terms: Choosing the Difficult Right Over the Easy Wrong

Kudos to my friend, Alan, of Polyamory in the News, who recently posted the following to a discussion group with regard to public advocacy for polyamory. It applies equally well for those seeking guidelines to determine whether polyamory may be right for them and any existing relationship.

Alan says:

If we have a PR message to put out -- and I believe that we do -- here's my take on what it should be:

Polyamory can work wonderfully for some minority of people. But to
work, it requires:

** High ethical standards: honesty, communication, and a readiness to choose the difficult right over the easy wrong.

** A commitment to learning ways to make relationships and communication work well. This often entails time and attention for personal-growth work.

** Reading up on the hard-won wisdom that the poly community has accumulated.

** A kind and generous heart.

Even then it's not for everyone, not for most, and this is okay; don't let anyone buffalo you into it. If you do go for it, don't expect it to be easy, certainly not at first. But for some small minority of people, it can open up dazzling new worlds of joy and wonder that most never imagine.