Family Web Series Creator On Seattle Local News, Oprah Interested

I've posted here before on Terisa Greenan's wonderful web series called "Family", about a Seattle male female male triad's trials and joys. There are now 15 Family webisodes on Youtube, and Terisa and company continue to crank them out as the number of hits on Youtube continue to soar - 81,000+ so far.

Today KOMO in Seattle has published a news article and video about it that is basically fair and sensible. You can read the article, which seems to be pretty much the video piece word for word.

Well-known author and matchmaker, Dr. Pepper Schwartz is a Professor of Sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and has in the past acknowledged that the human tendency to desire more than one partner is natural. So, I'm disappointed at the tone of her comments on the video. Of course, who knows what else she said that didn't make it into the story. What she says is true in some cases, but far from all, and the main reason what she says IS true is that people still need to gain the skills to make it work.

The editing made Terisa sound a little flaky in one instance, though I know that not to be the case. Who can blame her if perhaps she was coming from that giddy place poly people find when they have such an abundance of love in their lives? It's pretty heady stuff and an experience her nasty commenting critics will perhaps never have. How unfortunate that many people can't (or won't) look outside the monogamy box, even if for only a moment, when evaluating a story like this one.

T and I had dinner with Terisa, Scott and Larry last month, along with her third and his wife and child. She and I had spoken by phone but never met, and I found her and the rest of the family to be delightful. Terisa is a warm, sincere, smart woman - and, of course, talented!

The family on which "Family" is based did a great job and deserves our thanks for being willing to expose themselves to public opinion as they have. Many of the comments at the end of the article are pretty vicious, much as they were for Jenny Block when she first came to the attention of the public over a year ago when her book Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage was published. The very idea that either Terisa or Jenny are simply greedy sluts as alleged by commenters in both cases is laughable, yet people insist on making sweeping assumptions about their motives. It seems to come from a place of defensiveness, one into which I wish we had more scientific insight. This is not new, but it continues to amaze me how easily this kind of thing pushes people's buttons, and not in a good way. It just goes to show how far we still have to go to gain tolerance and awareness for polyamorous people and families.

I am delighted to hear that Oprah found Terisa. Her producers have been promising for some time now to devote one of her shows exclusively to the topic of polyamory. Robyn Trask of Loving More has in the past fielded requests for poly participants in other Oprah episodes where what was being discussed really wasn't polyamory. She educated the producers so that they now understand what polyamory is, and I'm glad to see that their interest is still strong.

News Article and Video on Wisconsin Polyamory Group

Check out this well done TV news piece (both article and 3 minute video) on polyamory that features the leaders of the Young Milwaukee Poly group. It is very fairly reported, something we activists work hard to help happen. It's not entirely in our control, but more and more the media treats the subject of polyamory legitimately without denigrating us or spinning the story to make us look like a bunch of flakes.

Kudos to Young Milwaukee Poly!

Next up, an article on polyamory in Newsweek which we hear will be out on July 27. Yours truly was interviewed on the role polyamory plays in the same sex marriage debate. For info and my thoughts on that question, see this post.

The Declaration of Independence and the Fight for Sexual Relationship Freedom

On this day of celebration of freedom in the United States, I received this inspiring video from a friend. It is excellent and worthy of 15 minutes of our time on Independence Day. In it, the actor Morgan Freeman sets the stage by describing the setting and circumstances in which the Declaration of Independence was prepared, signed and publicized. He then introduces a large and diverse group of our finest actors, from Kathy Bates to Mel Gibson to Kevin Spacey to Whoopie Goldberg, who then read the Declaration of Independence. Yes, it is patriotically inspiring, but I am also inspired by the words of the document in that they remind me of our duty to resist that which oppresses us.

I resist the tyranny of a one-size-fits-all standard of sexual loving relationship. I also resist the negativity that taints our views about ourselves as sexual beings. I will continue to resist until the day comes when resistance is no longer necessary. And I hope I will see the day when those whose preferred form of consenting adult romantic relationship and/or sexual expression does not subject them to the tyranny and oppression of those who believe that their way is the only way. Therein lies our ongoing struggle.

I am but one of a large and growing number of leaders who carry on this fight. Yet the fight is also being carried out by all of those who live their lives according to how they self-identify, oppression notwithstanding. Simply by having the courage to live a life authentic to who we are, we carry on the struggle for sexual relationship freedom. We are to be congratulated for doing so.

I wish you a happy, meaning-filled Independence Day. May it be grounded not just in patriotism but also in the fight for freedom of consenting adults to discover and to practice the intimate relationship structure and mode of sexual expression that best meets their emotional and human needs free of governmental, societal or institutional coercion or favoritism.

Sanford Political Cartoons

I love political cartoons and just came across these two on Daryl Cagle's Political Cartoonists Index as particularly interesting in that though the cartoonists go for absurdity, we polyamorists see them as making a valid point. (You can click on them to enlarge them if needed.)

Here is the first one which is by Dwane Powell of the Raleigh News & Observer.



Not surprisingly, Mrs. Sanford has ruled out this possibility.

"South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford sat in her oceanfront living room Friday, recalling how her husband repeatedly asked permission to visit his lover in the months after she discovered his affair.

"I said absolutely not. It's one thing to forgive adultery; it's another thing to condone it," Jenny Sanford told The Associated Press during a 20-minute interview... "

In this next one by Chip Bok of The Akron Beacon-Journal.



The reference is to what seems to be becoming tradition in France, i.e. François Mitterand, former prime minister, openly had a wife and a mistress. These two women attended his funeral together, at his wife's invitation. It's also worth noting that the present First Lady of France, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, wife of French President Nicolas Sarkozy, is quoted as saying she is:

.... easily "bored with monogamy", and that "love lasts a long time, but burning desire — two to three weeks".

To date President Sarkozy has remained silent on the issue, but it's safe to say that he and Carla have some kind of an open marriage agreement.

I am amused by the irony of the hugely different points of view on marital fidelity of the French and South Carolina First Ladies.

My friend, Alan M., of the most excellent Polyamory in the News blog, has, as always, done a fine job of analyzing the Sanford scandal in the context of polyamory - check it out. See also my previous blog posts on this topic here (the Loving More press release) and here.

Audacia Ray on the Sanford Scandal

I recently met the awesome Audacia Ray at the Sex 2.0 conference held in the DC area in May. Audacia Ray is a sexual rights activist and is the author of Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing In On Internet Sexploration (Seal Press, 2007). Dacia is also the Program Officer for Online Communications and Campaigns at the International Women’s Health Coalition and an adjunct professor of Human Sexuality at Rutgers University.

Dacia is a guest today on The Takeaway, a new national morning news radio program co-produced by PRI (Public Radio International) and WNYC Radio in collaboration with the BBC World Service, The New York Times and WGBH Boston.

Today's program is entitled "Love, Sex and Governor Sanford", in which Dacia and another guest make some very excellent points. Give it a listen, it's only 7 minutes long.

As a polyamory advocate I am intrigued by the part of the Sanford story that makes clear (if he is being truthful) that he first developed an emotionally intimate friendship with Maria Belen Chapur. This is something married men and women are often forbidden from doing in western culture. A few years ago a therapist wrote an article published in the Baltimore Sun that was emphatic that opposite sex friendships aren't OK for married people. At the time I was furious about it and vehemently disagreed - but context does matter, as does the importance of clear, direct communication between spouses about specific boundaries around behavior with others. Polyamorists must develop this ability in order to make their relationships work. Monogamy encourages avoidance of such discussions, because people marry thinking that everyone already knows the rules.

Once Sanford became emotionally bonded with Ms. Chapur, his human nature made it very, very difficult (though far from impossible) to avoid expressing those feelings sexually - it's the way we are wired as humans. Does that mean he should never have become friends with her? I guess I'll have to leave that decision up to the individuals who find themselves in that situation to decide, because it is their marriage, not mine, that is at stake.

Help Repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Though I don't tend to speak of it here, another facet of my life is that I am an Army mom. I also oppose the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that prevents LGBTs from being out if they are serving in the military.

On Tuesday, a military board told Lt. Dan Choi -- an Iraq War veteran (as is my son-in-law) and Arabic linguist -- that it was recommending his discharge from the Army for "moral and professional dereliction" under the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

Despite this setback, Lt. Choi is not giving up. Bolstered by more than 300,000 signatures to letters of support calling for the repeal of DADT, Dan is now taking his fight to repeal the discriminatory "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy to Congress.

Dan needs your help as soon as possible. The sooner DADT is repealed, the sooner he can return to service.

I just signed a letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi that Lt. Choi is going to personally deliver to her. The letter is being launched on Lt. Choi's behalf by the Courage Campaign, Knights Out and the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network.

We need Speaker Pelosi to take leadership now and speak out publicly in favor of current legislation in Congress that would repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

More than 50,000 people, including me, have signed Lt. Choi's letter in just a few hours. Will you join me in signing it and urge your friends to do the same? Just click here to add your name.

Sally Kern: Economic Crisis can be Blamed on Obama's Immoral Policies

In March 2008 I posted here about Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern's hate speech against LGBTs. Well, friends, she's at it again, as Professor Jonathan Turley explains.

Also, Rush Limbaugh seriously believes that Obama's economic policies were the cause of Republican Gov. Mark Sanford’s affair with a beautiful Argentinian woman. Seriously.

Is it possible that the extremist leaders of the religious right and sore loser conservative commentators are really losing it? One can always dream.